Tuesday Treasure Trove: Numero IX Part 2
Well, hello there, my children of the adventuring night. I’m glad that you’ve come back to continue this crazy episode of…..
TUESDAY TREASURE TROVE!!!
If you don’t remember what the first part was about, because you’re a slacker and failed to read my entries yesterday (you will be punished, don’t worry), you may do so here: click on me if you want to live!
You’d better click on that link if you didn’t read yesterday’s entry, or you may explode.
I’m just sayin’.
You might as well not take any chances.
You never know what’ll happen.
Heed my words.
Do it.
Did you do it yet?
I’m totally waiting.
*taps foot*
Oh, you’re done? Sorry, I was doing my nails.
Alright! Good! Now we may continue with our glorious hero’s story.
Last time on Tuesday Treasure Trove…
Guybrush is captured by dirty ghost pirates. He finds a ring, of course, because he is the man. He ESCAPES the clutches of the dirty ghost pirate LeChuck and makes off to the nearest island to freedom. He then proposes to the love of his life, Elaine Marley, with the ring he found. As he puts the ring on, he finds out that the ring is a voodoo evil pirate ring that turns its wearers into the purest gold. Now, Elaine is a gold statue and he must find a way to help his lovely lady. He must find an island with the curse removal tool, a ship to get to the island and a crew to sail the ship to the island.
And, he does all these things. Now it’s back to our review!
Now, after Guybrush recovers the map to Blood Island he let another pirate stole, he makes his way to… Blood Island with his mighty crew of miscreants. On his way to Blood Island, however, there is a mighty storm, coming from the wraith of Poseidon himself. The ship is thrown across the sea, as though it was a baby three headed monkey being thrown by an angry mother monkey. With one mighty furl of Poseidon’s mighty waves, the ship crashes against an island.
It just so happens to be the island that they are looking for. Blood Island.
As Guybrush picks himself off the beach and brushes the sand from his pants, he turns around to find his crew has mutinied. Yes, they want to go back to their previous occupation of being barbers and there’s nothing Guybrush can do to talk them into being blood thirsty pirates. However, Guybrush and the would be barbers are all stranded and they will get Guybrush back to Puerto Pollo if he can find the materials to fix the ship.
The adventure must being once again for Guybrush on this new island. As he walks about the island, he comes across a hotel. As he enters the hotel and begins to pilfer through the belongings of the owner as he tends to do in these adventuring situations, he finds that he cannot take a jar located on the bar, as the bartender and owner of the hotel, Goodsoup, has a hangover and needs a cure for it quickly. Guybrush eyeballs a recipe book on the same bar and goes through it. In it, he finds a recipe for a hangover cure. He now must find all of these ingredients. Ahhh, just another task for the mighty Guybrush.
The hotel of DEATH.
Outside the hotel.
Guybrush decides to wander the island some more, in search of more people that he can destr… I mean become friends with. He meets his old friends from Monkey Island I, the cannibals, but learns that they are no longer cannibals, but instead tofu friendly, veggie eating, fruit loving hippies. No red meat for them anymore, for they are worried about the health impact that red meat may have on them. Guybrush learns that they now worship a lactose intolerant volcano god and if this god has so much as one drop of lactose, he will literally explode. Guybrush, being the awesome pirate he is, decides that enough is enough and he must have his revenge for them locking him up many moons ago.
Well, not really revenge. It just sounds better in this story.
So, Guybrush dresses himself as a cannibal in a tofu mask and makes his way to the worshipping zone of the cannibalistic cannibals. Having a large wheel of cheese tucked away in his pants that he stole from the hotel down at the bottom of the volcano, he chucks the wheel into the vast expanse of the volcano. The volcano god becomes angry as his lactose intolerance rises to the breaking point. The volcano explodes.
Awesome. Guybrush has once again unleashed death and destruction on his path to achieving elite pirate status.
Guybrush’s cannibal friends who he will destroy. He’s mean.
Guybrush now goes back to finding a cure for Goodsoup’s hangover. He cannot let a fellow buccaneer suffer in the face of agony. After rescuing Goodsoup from his hangover, Guybrush must convince him that he, too, is a Goodsoup to hear about all the family secrets. To do this, he must take Goodsoup’s dear Uncle Griswold’s portrait and use it as his own face. After tricking Goodsoup into thinking that he is a family member, Goodsoup lets out all the family secrets, including the secret of the Goodsoup family diamond. Oh, a diamond. Guybrush’s interests are peeked. It turns out, however, that the diamond now belongs to a dead aunt of Goodsoup’s. Guybrush asks how he can get into the family tomb to retrieve the diamond and Goodsoup replies that he must die first.
Guybrush can manage to die with the best of them, so with the rest of the hangover cure that Goodsoup gave him, which boasts that he should not drink it with alcohol or death like symptoms may occur, he mixes the remedy with some booze. He takes the mixture and drinks it to the last drop. The world turns an array of colors before Guybrush falls from his stool, dead.
Dead as a doornail.
Or maybe… dead LIKE a doornail.
MUAHAHHAHA!
I’m going to make this the longest Tuesday Treasure Trove EVER.
Come back NEXT WEEK for the rest of this epic tale.
Tags: Reviews, Treasure Trove TuesdayRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Reviews, Treasure Trove Tuesday
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